Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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Hello

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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Jellybeans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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