What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Your Face.

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops