What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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Gingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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