What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +16

it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:What's worst than reading a bad joke? A: Reading a joke on anti-joke and the person who posted the joke obviously doesn't get how a anti-joke works. For example... read this again ^^

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops