How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What did the man with sores on his tounge get for a birthday present? He recieved a very nice pair of trousers which he wore to work from time to time

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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