A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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Justin Beiber

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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