Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What comes after 69? mouthwash

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

your mom is so stupid she got raped

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops