Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

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Knock knock -Who's there? Orange -I don't get it.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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