When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Women's Rights

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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Michel Moor on a die...

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What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

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I leave you with a riddle, I am round. I am an orange. What am I?

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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I woke up today

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops