guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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