Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

Dakota Fanning

A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD READ THIS IF YOUR A FUCKHEAD huh GOT EM

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...