andrew wagner

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why do fat people make such good slaves? They're too fat and lazy to escape. Unfortunately, if you want your slave to be fat, you actually have to feed it properly.

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PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

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Roses are blue vilotets are yellow, obviously I don't know this rhyme so well u have aids and will die of cancer at the age of 25, and so will ur mom

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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Vote this up

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You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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