3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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GIVE

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Whats Obama's last name?

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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whats annoying and black? black people

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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Gale swallows.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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