Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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poop.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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