What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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What's better than winning a gold at the paralympic Walking

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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A russian gives away vodka.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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what do you call a jew hanging from a tree? dead

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get mowed down by a tractor

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops