Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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