What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

Gale swallows.

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

26.5% of Americans are obese.

What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

penis

these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...