How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Boom.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops