There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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OOOOPPS /

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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