Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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Q: How did the black man cross the Atlantic? A: He flew with an airliner, a large fixed-wing aircraft for transporting passengers and cargo.

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Ten minutes later we're enjoying delicious muffins together.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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