I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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Knock knock What?

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Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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When life throws you lemons, you probably have dyslexia

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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srrsly, the fuk is going down here? read down It`s satanist rituals or something, Are there mmodderators that will remove this things seriusly!Moral stuf is satanism!!!!

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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I like food. But what's more than that it is necessary for survival. ASIAN!!!!

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A man buys a prius

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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