What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: It didn't do it for any good reason,chickens are mindless and do random things,like crossing the road

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops