Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Christians pornstars.

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what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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New mission: refuse this mission

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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