A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

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the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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A black man comes home from work.

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mark lawson likes boys

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What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Robin, Get in the Car

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Testicles.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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