How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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42

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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Q.whats the weirdest thing??????? A.woman leaders

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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