What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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I've got a dig bick

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Poop.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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Donald Trump

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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