It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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diarrhea.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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baloney sandwich

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

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42

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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