What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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hi jonny

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

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I had a submarine.... once

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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