Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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Asian women drivers...

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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