Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do a vampire and a ginger have in common they're both afraid of the sunligh- oh wait this anti jokes ohhhhhhh oh well

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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