Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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