A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Its true, he didnt write that!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I am a women

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you drown a fish? You don't...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where there is a will, there is generally a grieving family... I miss you, dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

1

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops