Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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I love pissing people off :P

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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