What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

I Have a Black Friend

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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