Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Life

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a black guy walks into a park with a group of five other black guys. they then proceed to have a nice picnik and play frisbee with a little white boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops