How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Wolf Wolf who? Wolf who!? Is that really the first question that comes to mind when confronted with a talking wolf?

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops