a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die? Madelyns head

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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A black guy walks into a KKK meeting. He is burnt on a cross outside his families house. They will mourn his death for years to come

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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