God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops