Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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"knock knock?" ITS 2012 WE HAVE DOOR BELLS!!!

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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Women's professional sports

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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What's wrong with a black man in a bar? Nothing, Except the fact that he is an alcoholic, and will probably beat his wife after drinking.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because if you subtract 6 from 7 only one would survive.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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