whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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