How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

YOLO

A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

What's worse than bad words? People who say them

What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...