You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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