hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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women's rights

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yo mama so stupid that when she stared at an orange jucie carton for 20 minutes cause it said consatrate

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I once did something.

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Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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