How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

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Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

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What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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