How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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chuck norris

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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