why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's funnier than 68 69

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops