What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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1d

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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