How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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Brain fart

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Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

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So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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