whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

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Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

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Yo momma is So Fat? And isn't your cousin Chow Yun Fat? I think I know some of the Fat family. How are they all doing?

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Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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