what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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This isn't funny.

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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Thats what she said

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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guest what i love pancakes

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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