- Anti Joke

The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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