what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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A French man gets into a fight

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whats black and yellow and screams? A bus full of black kids going over a cliff.

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Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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What did the boy say to his friend? nothing, they were both deaf

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Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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WHAT THE BABIES?!

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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good one jess !!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops