Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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asdf

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Q: Why did the little boy drop his toy? A: He fell and broke his wrist, then dropped it in the emergency room, due to the broken wrist.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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