You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Take this and put it- No.

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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Why did the boy engage in oral sex with the other boy. He was a hormonal homosexual.

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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